living with someone sick is nothing new to me. i have basically lived with it my whole life. not myself mind you, but my mother. she has been sick since i can remember, and has to be one of the strongest people i know. daily pills, doctor visits, hospital stays, it's all just common every day life for me. once i got out of school i never thought id be tossed back into it.
the last six months has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. from getting a DUI which has caused me to be in the situation i am in, to being putting into a romantic entanglement i never thought id ever be a part of, to finally being with the man i am with today. funny thing is, i wouldn't change it for the world.
funny looking back on it really. who would have ever thought something as bad as a DUI would me bring into the arms of one of the greatest, and strongest, men i could have ever met. don't get me wrong, i'm by no means condoning drinking and driving. it's actually a life i have left behind, but without it i wouldn't be where i am.
back in November i was supposed to have my plea agreement entered into the courts for a stupid DUI i got while out with a guy i was seeing. i wasn't drunk, but i was buzzed a little bit. i didn't even blow a .1, so don't think i was out there wasted face driving around town. i was stupid and wasn't paying attention to what lane i had stopped at the red light. there was a cop next to me and he got me. problem was, i didn't have a license at the time. again another stupid mistake on my part. i own up to it and am dealing with it.
at the time of my DUI i was currently in the process of starting up my movie, once again. it was a project 4 years in the making. as of now, thanks to the DUI, it has been canceled. i dont no where that is going to end up, but most likely on the cutting room floor.
due to the lack of jobs at the time near Sioux City where i was living, i ended up moving to Omaha with my friend Justin. i started work at his dad's restaurant Justin Thyme Cafe. it was slow, a restaurant job i was not used to, or able to handle truthfully. him, his boyfriends, and his dad have been great to me and i really hate how everything has ended.
a couple months into the move i met the guy i am with now. at the time it was just a fly by night friendship. i never really saw anything come of it. he had a boyfriend so what else could have happened right? the relationship between him and i developed as we ended up talking constantly, all day long. we ended up meeting and just sat and talked. we got to really no each other.
over time i learned about his battle with Cystic Fibrosis. until him i never really heard of it or knew anyone with it. i slowly learned of all the medications, all the time spent, and all the doctors visits. to me it seemed like my mom's issues all over again. crazy enough, i wasn't to worried about that.
as time went on things really started to develop. as i said, it wasn't intended, but when you are constantly talking to someone and learning everything there is about them, the inevitable happens. he found out about my house arrest due to the DUI and him and his boyfriend moved me into their house so that i wouldn't have to deal with the stresses of Omaha drinking, and the negative influences of the area. i wasn't sure if it was what i really wanted to, but Brandon wanted me to stop the drinking, partying, and pot smoking. after much hesitation, i decided to start moving in.
i didn't do much right away. i wanted it to be slow, make sure it was what i wanted. i had 60 days of house arrest ahead of me and i wanted to make sure i was making the right move. everything was rough the month i was there, something i will get into down the road as it seems fit to tell it. in the end, Brandon and i couldn't take it anymore. so one rough night we packed all of our stuff up and headed out.
it was rough on Brandon at first, it still is really. just as i am sure it has been rough on Bil, his boyfriend of 4 years who he left. the stress has been high, which is where the problem of his CF is concerned. over the month i was there i learned all about his CF. the medications he has to take, when to take them, the shots, the insulin, the sleep and the drinks. i knew once we left it would be up to me to take on the responsibility to make sure all this is done.
i don't want to over whelm anyone with the struggles and stress of making sure a CF boyfriend does what he needs to do, but he is my partner and i have chosen to take on that responsibility. something he wasn't sure i was ready for. i have shown him over and over countless times that i am there for him and always will be as he has slowly realized. i am not saying no one else has over his life, but i have chosen to take on this task and i feel very comfortable with it. the life style of having a boyfriend with this illness has become a part of my everyday life. it doesn't hinder what i do, nor does it cause any problems in my everyday life. as time goes on you will read about the struggles and the ups and downs of being with someone like this. the arguments of a normal relationship have to be taken into account as the stress is not good for him. over the next few weeks i will go into more detail about the medications and our everyday life. nothing personal but an inside look at what we both have to deal with.
we have a great relationship and you would never know by looking at us that he has CF. that is the best part about us. we come off as a normal everyday couple, which we are, we just have to watch the stress and make sure his medications are taken on time. how we store everything and how we go about life is very important. the travels we will go on, the people we bring in and out of our lives, and the troubles of every day life that people take for granted all have to be taken into account before a decision is made. the best part about us is we discuss everything fully before we make a choice as to what we do or where we go. communication is key in any relationship and even more important in this one. i am so excited to be able to share my story and a part of his as well as we move forward with our lives together. this is gonna be one hell of a journey, and hopefully something everyone can take away from. this isn't something easy to deal with, but together we make it seem seamless. i know many people out there are in a similar situation as ours, but many may be having trouble dealing with it. hopefully after reading what i post, i can put a little ease to their mind knowing that you can still have an amazing relationship and life, as long as you work on the endless struggles together.
-T
Your a strong, great person and I can't wait to read more. We have alot in common!
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