Getting Settled

the move has finally happened.  the stresses seem to rarely end.  we are now in the search of doctors and getting things transferred.  the problem we face is his doctor is about 2.5 hours away and we want to get a doctor closer in case of an emergency.  

one of the biggest struggles with disabilities is that there are so many regulations and guidelines.  so many red tapes, and sadly i know many people who have to deal with them or stick to a place they aren't happy with.  since being with Brandon i have learned that life is to short to be unhappy, and since the move and all the red tape we have to deal with sometimes i wonder if the happiness slowly slips away.  that is where i need to stand strong for him for once.  

between is SSI, his food stamps, searching for a doctor for his CF, searching for after care doctors, searching for diabetes doctors, all within a close range area has been very hard and very difficult.  i look at him and i can see the frustration and i can see the irritation.  it is so hard for me to keep a smile on my face when i see my boy so worried and so stressed.  i wish i could help him relax, but the sad part is, i don't know anything about anything when it comes to this.  

for someone like me, all i have to do is see who is taking new patients and i pay the first client fees and i am in.  never in a million years thought i would be searching for something so specific.  we can't take just anyone either.  they have to be good.  Brandon was seeing one of the best of the best when we left.  his doctor was trained by his surgery doctor.  because of that it is someone i trust and someone he trusts.  on top of it, it's a doctor that knows about his body and the procedure that happened.  this is my boy, my rock, my man...i can't allow just any doctor to take care of him.  if it was my choice i would rather him stay with the one he has.  i understand why he can't though.  if something serious happens he needs to be close by.

i hate it though, seeing him so tired these days.  i wish there was something i can do.  im fresh and new to all of this, so his exhaustion worries me.  i got most of the important stuff figured out.  the meds, the schedules, the times, none of that is an issue.  it's dealing with how his body deals with stress that wears on me.  i can't tell him though.  if i do he worries.  i can't let that happen.  for now i just gotta sit back and help him get the help he needs before the end of next month when his meds run out.  keep a smile on my face, because in the end that is what matters the most.  getting him into the doctors he needs.  he is more than taken care of.  he has more support than he could have hoped for.  it's just the time factor of his doctors helping us find his doctors.  i hate how slow things move at times, but i understand he isn't the only patient they have.