so many times i sit here and preach about the little things in life that people remember most. or the time spent together and how important it is to any relationship be it family, a loved one, or even just a close friend. i am a simple man with simple needs. something that was hard for Brandon to grasp when we first met. he was so used to the "upper class" life style that Bil thought he could give him, that he forgot just what it was like to live a simple, non materialistic kind of life.
when i first met Brandon i was in the process of making a movie. something i really wish would have been able to get off the ground, but every time that almost happened something came up. needless to say, after 4 years of trying i gave it up. it was hard this last time around, ill be honest. we had a killer script that was in the process of being revised for a final time. it was a script about a love triangle with a major emphasis on bullying and its effects on a young child's mind as he grows up.
Brandon was a very "materialistic" kind of guy at that time. not to say anything about him, but he was. he came off on a very bad way. this was all because of the 3.5 year long relationship he had with Bil. he was used to basically getting whatever he wanted when he wanted. he got stuff given to him all the time from Bil. then i come in the picture. a man who doesn't like people spending money on me. a man who would rather save the money than spend it. it was very hard to show Brandon that i wasn't the kind of man his "husband," or whatever he was, was. i was a very down to Earth, plain kind of guy. i really do like the small simple things in life. my most fond memories come from times i spent with nothing. i had nothing and i needed nothing to be happy. i never needed a fancy dinner when i could go take a blanket with a basket of sandwiches and sit under the stars in the middle of no where.
over time Brandon began to see my way of thinking. many days we would spend laying on the couch while Bil was at work and would just talk. (don't think of that in a negative way, there was a reason we did this and that is for a whole nother blog. it was nothing hidden from Bil, it was a situation we were in which would later be what brought Brandon and i together). as we would lay there during the day, or sit on the couch watching the news sipping our coffee, he slowly began to realize that you didn't need to spend money to be happy. he realized you didn't need to go to high class places and drive hours away to have a good time. he began to realize that the time spent together is worth so much more than the time spent together spending money.
over time Brandon began to want more of this and a lot less of the materialistic. in his defense he tried and tried and tried to get Bil in on it and Bil would always shut him down. Bil always saw it as a waste of time, not time spent together. this is one of the things that slowly brought Brandon and i together.
last night was another one of those moments. Brandon and i had an early morning and just wanted to relax before making dinner. being on house arrest right now due to a stupid DUI i spend a lot of time just messing with stuff. we laid down and cuddled. one of the reasons i love doing this is because it is a major bonding experience for a couple. i feel many relationships would be saved if given the chance to spend time like this together. to lay down, or even sit next to each other and hold each other while the TV is off and the music is off, allows a couple to reconnect. allows a couple to go back to what brought them together in the first place.
Brandon and i do this about 5-6 times a week. we will lay on the bed and just talk. not about problems, or concerns, or stress, but just talk about anything. anything and everything. we really do have a sick relationship when i think of some of the stuff we talk about, but that is what makes our relationship so fresh. communication is such an important part of any relationship, that moments like this keeps that window open. it keeps the flow alive. with communication comes the pillar of honesty and trust. with all three of those strong any relationship can withstand any situation.
though laying in bed doesn't work with every relationship. sitting with coffee, sitting at the couch, or one of my favorite places that i did with my mom would be on the porch, early in the morning with a cup of coffee as the sun rises. there is nothing more calming or soothing then a nice conversation with your own mother or father listening to nature all around you having a heart to heart.
something people don't do these days is take the time out of their busy day to reconnect. to rebuild that level of communication in a relationship. the world has so many calming soothing moments that we let pass us by because we feel like we have to get everything done now. these moments are the best moments for us to reconnect not only with ourselves, but those closest to us. it is the one thing i love about Brandon and i's relationship, we are NEVER to busy to reconnect on a daily basis. we spend our mornings over coffee usually talking at the table or watching the news while talking.
morning is the best time to talk. the best moments to connect. thoughts are fresh in your mind, the outside would stays there. there is nothing to distract you from hearing what your loved ones have to say. maybe this is the reason so many people connect in a coffee shop. when you walk in doors, its as if the outside world never existed. despite how many people are in there, it always seems to be the most calming places on earth.
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